What I Kept

Kathryn Jones

May 12, 2024

The curse of the eldest daughter:

I open drawers and closets,

dig through the belongings of a woman

who did not throw much away;

she wanted me to decide what to keep,

what to donate, what to toss in the trash.  

I open boxes on shelves and wonder –

how did she wear those pointed red high heels?

Why did she keep all those skirts and dresses

that no longer fit? How many purses,

scarves, belts did she really need? 

I toss them in a stack for Goodwill. 

Then I open a drawer and discover 

my childhood – grade school pictures,

a notebook about Greek mythology,

colored pencil drawings of every state flag,

a white purse with a decoupage flower

I made for her one Mother’s Day.

I open another drawer and find 

every postcard I ever sent her,

from the bottom of the Grand Canyon 

to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

When she could not leave the house, 

she at least could travel in her mind. 

I toss them all into a large plastic box, now

brimming with photos, books, handwritten letters 

I cannot throw away. I cart it all home, 

no longer feel cursed but grateful that 

she chose me, her eldest daughter, to be 

the hoarder of love, the keeper of memory. 

Kathryn Jones is a poet, journalist, and essayist whose work has been published in The New York Times, Texas Monthly, Texas Highways, and the Texas Observer. Her poetry has appeared in numerous literary journals and anthologies, including TexasPoetryAssignment.com, Unknotting the Line: The Poetry in Prose (Dos Gatos Press, 2023), Lone Star Poetry (Kallisto Gaia Press, 2023), and in her chapbook, An Orchid’s Guide to Life, published by Finishing Line Press. She was inducted into the Texas Institute of Letters in 2016 and lives on a ranch near Glen Rose, Texas.