confession

d. ellis phelps

June 30, 2024

when i think of my daughter

i think of her talent

how she recited her poems to me

—my glistening eyes

how she recited the poems        competing

how she wanted the ribbon she won

        to be blue

when i think of blue ribbons

i think of taking her to the state fair

how she loved the baby pigs

how i warned her about the sow

telling her stories of the pig

i had as a boy         the one 

        who followed me everywhere

i wanted her to follow me everywhere

but she was no pet pig:

stubborn girl

loud mouthed

always moving

bruising her shins

you’ll never be miss america

if you keep bruising your shins

her straight a report cards pleased me

you can be president someday

if you want to be        i told her

i wanted her to be miss america

i wanted her to be president

she wanted a husband

she chose one

        and then another

after the education i paid for

after the kids       there were three

after the alcohol and the divorce

—the doctor she left

—the new husband i hated

i told her:    you’re not even my child

that is a confession

        i wish i hadn’t made

d. ellis phelps’ work has appeared widely online and in print. She is the author of four poetry collections and one novel and the editor of Moon Shadow Sanctuary Press (MSSP) and of the digital journal fws:  international journal of literature & art where she publishes the work of others.