Panico

ANNA B. GONZALEZ

April 6, 2020

Mami walks in in a panic.

“Muchacha, cierra el garaje,

no te vayan a robar las cosas.”

She is afraid someone will steal my reserves.  

By that, I mean, the extra food in the fridge that sits in my garage along with the paper towels and toilet paper that I bought at the wholesale warehouse long before this all started. 

Later in the day Mami calls and says, “Muchacha, asegura cerrar bien las puertas y pon la alarma.”  

I shouldn’t have to THINK about locking doors or setting alarms.  

Mami’s even got me thinking about putting bars on the windows, I should have listened to Papi.

Mami walks in in a panic, 

again.

“Muchacha, el esposo de tu prima

tiene el virus.”

My head spins.

I sit, en silenció, pensando, orando.

¿Que ira hacer de nosotros? 

Dios mío, 

¿Podre proteger a mis hijas?

As day turns into night, cierro bien las ventanas, atrancó la puerta, y pongo la alarma.

And I listen to mis hijas 

As they turn in.

I close my eyes, just then 

Mi chiquita says, Mami, I love you, goodnight. 

Mi corazón late de felicidad.

That is all my soul needed to hear. 

ANNA B. GONZALEZ is an elementary school assistant principal for the Pharr San Juan Alamo Independent School District and a part-time lecturer for the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley in Edinburg, Texas. She is currently a PhD. Candidate in Curriculum & Instruction at Texas Tech University specializing in Language, Diversity, and Literacy Studies.